One year ago yesterday, we lost a close friend. Lost but never forgotten.

R.I.P. Glenn "Omodiende" Reitz

I Am Not My Body

By Glenn “Omodiende” Reitz

I am not my body
I am not weak,
weak with fatigue, weak with atrophy, weak with limbs that give out well before the job is done, quivering and panting.

I am not my body
I am not dying, decaying, degenerating
debilitating, disease-ridden, dissolving, disappearing…
slowly, like blood stains on the sidewalk, bleaching under footsteps and the daily sun –
until one day you just notice that they’re gone
and you can’t remember who left them, who died.
All you can remember is that the crime scene jammed traffic for blocks, the sudden stop/start of the bus spilling coffee on your shirt, and making you late for work.
You remember that.
Curious, though, the coffee stain is still there, no matter what you do –
just keep your jacket closed so no one sees.

I am not my body,
I am not slowly slipping into shadows
Losing brightness and luminosity
Sinking in obscurity and the sussurus of memory.
I am not my body
slowly wearing out like an eraser on the pencil of a writer
leaving bits and pieces of myself behind, evidence of mistakes and redirected thought,
wearing slowly to a useless nub.
If I would write less perhaps I would last longer, maintain my shape, my form, my bodybut the writing serves a purpose, if only to make the eraser useful.
And the writing I can’t stop.

I am not my body
I’m a shining, luminous creature, strong and vibrant
casting shadows of my own illuminesence
burning into minds and onto paper
growing stronger every day.
My appetite and capacity feed cravings that direct me and empower me
imparting flight to me like that of hummingbirds – no,
not stupid hummingbirds but honeybees.
Swarming out from hidden places, taking sustenance and energy from everywhere they stop to feed, yet always leaving something fertile and productive,
bits and pieces left behind. They, too, serve a purpose.
but even bees are gone at sunset, fly to shadows ‘fore the night arrives
So maybe then I’m not a bee, or hummingbird.
But I am damned sure not my body
I’m not.

If...

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

Life is like a train ride

Life is like a train ride.
We get on. We ride. We get off. We get back on and ride some more. There are accidents and there are delays. At certain stops there are surprises. Some of these will translate into great moments of joy; some will result in profound sorrow. When we are born and we first board the train, we meet people whom we think will be with us for the entire journey. Those people are our parents!

Sadly, this is far from the truth.
Our parents are with us for as long as we absolutely need them. They too have journeys they must complete. We live on with the memories of their love, affection, friendship, guidance and their ever presence.

There are others who board the train and who eventually become very important to us, in turn.

These people are our brothers, sisters, friends and acquaintances, whom we will learn to love, and cherish.

Some people consider their journey like a jaunty tour. They will just go merrily along.

Others will encounter many upsets, tears, losses on their journey.
Others still, will linger on to offer a helping hand to anyone in need.

Some people on the train will leave an everlasting impression when they get off….

Some will get on and get off the train so quickly, they will scarcely leave a sign that they ever travelled along with you or ever crossed your path…

We will sometimes be upset that some passengers, whom we love, will choose to sit in another compartment and leave us to travel on our own.

Then again, there’s nothing that says we can’t seek them out anyway.
Nevertheless, once sought out and found, we may not even be able to sit next to them because that seat will already be taken.

That’s okay …everyone’s journey will be filled with hopes, dreams, challenges, setbacks and goodbyes.

We must strive to make the best of it… no matter what...

We must constantly strive to understand our travel companions and look for the best in everyone.

Remember that at any moment during our journey, any one of our travel companions can have a weak moment and be in need of our help.

We too may vacillate or hesitate, even trip… hopefully we can count on someone being there to be supportive and understanding…

The bigger mystery of our journey is that we don’t know when our last stop will come. Neither do we know when our travel companions will make their last stop. Not even those sitting in the seat next to us.

Personally, I know I’ll be sad to make my final stop…. I’m sure of it! My separation from all those friends and acquaintances I made during the train ride will be painful. Leaving all those I’m close to will be a sad thing. But then again, I’m certain that one day I’ll get to the main station only to meet up with everyone else. They’ll all be carrying their baggage… most of which they didn’t have when they first got on this train.

I’ll be glad to see them again. I’ll also be glad to have contributed to their baggage… and to have enriched their lives, just as much as they will have contributed to my baggage and enriched my life.

We’re all on this train ride together. Above all, we should all try to strive to make the ride as pleasant and memorable as we can, right up until we each make the final stop and leave the train for the last time.

All aboard!
Safe journey!!

BON VOYAGE!!!

Maybe I'm on a spaceship

As I get older, I'm coming to terms with the fact that there are not that many choices in life. That great cliché we were all taught when we were young about there always being a choice? Not entirely true, probably something meant to help us develop a conscience but there will come a day when out of desperation that you will do something you don't necessarily want to but you have to in order to protect your assets, your loved ones or your livelihood, sometimes all three. The lack of choices isn't solely a situation that you will only encounter when you're on the defensive either. Sometimes it is about following orders to protect ya neck or staying away from your kid because of what a malicious ex wants and what a judge dictates. I can keep drawing up scenarios but I don't think that would be necessary, you can all think about a situation you were recently in where you had no choice in your actions or the outcome. Maybe that's just me, maybe I'm on a spaceship